2021

i tried being the good girl: prayed and hoped and never complained.

i tried acting like im chosen by the goddess herself to avenge everything that’s been done to me. 

i tried partying. lots of bars and alcohol. faces blurred.

i tried therapy and good friends. antidepressants ended up in the toilet bowl.

i tried shutting the fuck up and faking it. 

i tried speaking up and owning it. 

i tried going for a walk and thinking about never return. 

i tried building a life thousands of kilometers away, it sure as hell didnt work. 

i tried to negotiate, i tried to fight for it, i tried to die because of it. 

what’s left? 

not me.